The
Lucky Ones
I am one of the lucky ones. My luck begins with writing
a column for the sports page of the Arizona Republic and continues
with being afforded the opportunity to meet and interview many of
the top golfers out on tour.
My luck reached a zenith point this past year when
in my capacity as a columnist I was able to go right up to one of
my all-time favorite players and ask him if he would mind spending
the next half-hour or so answering my questions about the mental
game of golf.
He said he’d be glad to. And so it was that I had
my first of three interviews with William Payne Stewart.
Psychologists are by nature interested in human growth
and development, stories of how people overcome difficulties and
create a meaningful, successful life for themselves. And so it was
that I had followed Payne’s career with interest, intrigued by his
individualism and the stories of how he was coming back, with guts
and determination, from a career slump.
Payne always cut a dashing figure on the course, instantly
recognizable in his knickers and tam-o’-shanter cap, usually flashing
his engaging grin or his steely resolve, as he marched up a fairway
or strode purposely about a green.
He was no less dashing up close. He was warm, friendly,
open and engaging. He spoke thoughtfully about his personal growth
of the past several years, of the new ways he had learned to help
himself be more the man he wanted to be, on and off the golf course.
Payne described his journey back from that time in
his career when he was number 123 on the money list, in jeopardy
of losing his tour card, and considering whether or not to give
up golf. It was an inner journey, a journey of increased self-awareness,
of making new, more healthy choices, and of recapturing faith in
a dream; a dream of the man God had meant him to be.
Payne used his career slump to learn, to be self-reflective
and to re-answer for himself the three questions of life; Who am
I?, Where am I going?, and, Who’s coming with me? From this time
of reflection he emerged with a renewed commitment and belief in
himself and his goals, “I realize my time is coming, I really believe
that. I’m seeing a lot of positive things out there, it’s a matter
of one of these weeks I’m going to click and they’re gonna be watching
me.”
Stewart rededicated himself to his game and to his
family, setting his priorities, “I”m not going to blink and miss
my family growing up. When I’m out on the golf course I’m going
to prepare myself to be the best I can, and when I’m home I’m going
to be a father.”
Professional golfer Scott Hoch saw Payne’s priorities
as being “in the right order,” saying, “His priorities were right;
God first, family second, golf third.”
Payne’s priorities and yours may not be exactly the
same, however, deciding on a place for golf in your life that moves
you toward your goals rather than away from them, is an important
mental aspect of success in the game. It is an essential element
of being mentally tough. Based on priorities, mentally tough people
actively chose where to put their attention, knowing that wherever
they put their attention is what will increase, in their golf game
or in life.
Payne Stewart’s words are the words of a mentally
tough player, “If you think well enough, and realize that you don’t
have your A game that day then you do the best with what you have.
This is a learned deal. Getting something positive from the bad
situations. It takes a lot of mental toughness to be able to do
that. If you let a pressure situation change your routine then you
don’t have control.”
Payne got something positive from his mid-career struggles.
Family, friends, fellow competitors, commentators, sports writers;
everyone spoke of the change in Stewart, including himself, when
he commented, following his dramatic win at this years U.S. Open,
’“I”m so much more at peace with myself than I’ve ever been in my
life. Where I was last year and where I am now is leaps and bounds.
I’m a lot older and I’m a lot wiser, I’m more mature.”
We’re all the lucky ones.
To have been able to watch Payne Stewart, the classy
golfer, for all these years. To have the opportunity to learn from
his legacy; his life, his style, his answers.
Just before the U.S. Open, Stewart remarked, “I said
to myself, ‘Just go out there and be Payne Stewart,’ and it was
good enough.”
After the Open he said, “I don’t have to change anything
because now I know that I’m there. All I have to do from here on
out is just believe in myself.”
He was one of the lucky ones, he found himself. And
he will be sorely missed.
Dr. Paula King, Golf’s “Head”
Coach®, is a licensed sports psychologist in private practice in
Phoenix. Specializing in work with golfers, her clients include
tour pros, juniors and amateurs. Comments
or Questions?
